Jacobe's Eating Solids

I'm sure I've mentioned that Jacobe has started solids. Though, he really hasn't eaten much. I tried butternut squash (my sister made it for Havanna while she was here) and he didn't like that much. I tried applesauce, but again that was a no go. He likes bananas but prefers to have them frozen in a mesh feeder, not spoon fed. He also likes cantaloupe in the mesh feeder. Rice cereal is definitely not a favorite for him. So really, feeding him solids is more like trying to coax him to take the smallest bit of whatever I'm offering. Usually he absolutely refuses after the first bite or gags every time I do get the spoon in his mouth. That is, until tonight. I grabbed what I thought was a sweet potato from the potato bar at Golden Corral tonight. It was a yam. Oh well, close enough. I opened it up and mashed it up with a tad bit of water and a couple pieces of ice to cool it down. That boy tore it up. He ate a surprisingly large amount of the yam. I was beginning to think he just didn't want anything to do with solids yet, but apparently he was just waiting for the right food. Jaycie was always a sucker for the sweet potatoes (or gogumah as she calls them, which is Korean for sweet potato). So looks like I need to go to the health food store and stock up on some organic sweet potatoes and yams. Maybe I'll try some butternut squash again. Although, you know the other day the nurse said I better not feed him solids yet. She said I'd have to get 3 jobs just to have enough money to feed him. After seeing him tear up that yam, I think she's right. HAHA!

My Core Values of Parenting...

Like I've mentioned before, I'm pretty laid back as a parent. However, there are a few areas where I feel very strongly on. I've decided I should talk with Josh about our core values of parenting so that there are areas that we never disagree about. We already have a few that we have always agreed on without actually declaring them core values. I tell my sister that just because I feel strongly about something or I don't feel strongly about something doesn't mean that she's wrong. And just because her Dr tells her something doesn't mean that she has to take his word for it. Every well baby appointment or checkup for the kids the pediatrician gives me a hand out on taking care of my baby/toddler. There are some things I agree with and other things I don't agree with. At Jacobe's 6 mos well baby appointment the Dr insinuated that I should have started him on solids at 4 mos and that now I should play catch up by handing him a baby cookie and giving him mashed potatoes. Both of those foods have multiple ingredients that I don't believe he's ready for. I respectfully disagree with my Dr's and their hand outs all the time. Every book and hand out and Dr's advice are usually based on opinion. One hand out said I should be letting Jacobe cry it out now. I disagree. I let him fuss, but if he starts crying I pick him up. You can always find a book or a Dr who will back your decisions if it's not a major issue. All Dr's agree that you don't feed infants under 12 mos honey or peanut butter and that you keep your baby rear-facing in their car seat until 20 lbs AND 1 year for example. The minor issues are up for debate.

I know there are people who don't agree with my decisions. But I am Mommy, and I am in charge. I'm the one who has to live with my decisions. So I research research research. I read as many books and legitimate websites as I can about child rearing and nutrition and what not. I don't make my decisions lightly and certainly not my core values. Here is a rough draft of my personal core values. I'll post the ones we set in stone once we have that discussion.

• Raising them in church is very important to us. And also knowing what they believe not just believing because they're told to.
• Car seat safety is always priority one. We always take extra time to ensure the car seats are installed correctly. I'll keep them rear-facing until at least 2 years if I can at all help it.
• No cry it out (CIO) as infants, especially in the early months. I feel (and there are many psychologists who agree) that if a baby is allowed to CIO too early they develop separation anxiety and even abandonment rage.
• Nutrition is important. I want to give my kids the best start and not battle the weight issues that Josh and I have (and do). This includes no junk food until 1 year and even then at a very minimal amount (birthday cake and pizza crust is ok here and there). And I try my hardest to keep fast food away from them until they're 2, though it didn't happen quite that way with Jaycie. Pretty close though.
• Education is very important. From working with them as babies to providing a way for them to go to college, we want to make sure they have the best education possible.

Well, those are the ones I can think of now, and the ones that I'm pretty rigid on. And now I have to tend to number 3 on the list...I'd like to go more into each of these at some point. But right now I have to console a baby boy.

She's Celery!

I know, two posts in one day. I just had to post this. Right now I'm listening to Jaycie sing a song about celery. She learned the song while watching Olivia--one of her new favorite shows. In this episode Olivia is helping her friend, Julian, overcome his fear of singing in public for their recital. They all had to dress like a fruit or veggie and sing a song that described them. His song was about celery and his goal in life is to become a famous rock star. So in several scenes he's singing like a rock star this celery song. Every so often Jaycie rocks out the song...

Celeraaaaaay!
Chop me uuuuup in soooouuuup!
Use me diiiip! I'm a scoooooooooop!
I'm celeraaaaaaaaaay!!!

She really does sing it like a rock star. I love that girl!

I Call It Compromise, My Friends Call It Suckered...

My parenting style is pretty laid back. I still discipline and I have boundaries and rules. However, there is some flexibility in there. For instance, bedtime is usually an ordeal at our house. Jaycie just does not like to go to bed on her own. She will, eventually, and she's not nearly as bad as she used to be. It used to take a good 2 hours of constant screaming before she'd go to sleep. Well, since she is doing much better with the whole bedtime thing I compromise with her every now and then, mainly when I'm too tired to devote at least 30 minutes to singing her songs, reading her books, singing her songs, saying goodnight to all her stuffed animals. It's a whole ritual, really. The compromise is I give her a choice. She can either go to sleep in her bed or Mommy's bed. When she sleeps in Mommy's bed she gets to sleep on Mommy's pillow and I read one story, sing one song, and say prayers with her and say goodnight and she's out. If I put her to sleep in her bed sometimes she'll get out of bed and come up with a million excuses of why she can't go to sleep right then, most of which are ignored. Then when I'm ready for bed I move her to her own bed and all is good. She still goes to sleep fairly well in her own bed the next night, so I don't feel like it's a bad compromise at all.

There are other small things I compromise on. If I hear her playing with water and I know she's not making a huge mess I'll overlook it. I do like her to explore her creativity through water play, so I don't think it's a big deal. Josh would disagree, but we agree to disagree on some things. If Jaycie asks me for a snack and I originally say no because she didn't finish her lunch I'll compromise later by saying if she finishes a certain amount of said lunch she'll get some sort of fruit, but not the pudding she asked for. I try not to sweat the small stuff. If I did I would go insane. So, I compromise. I feel like it's a great way to teach Jaycie about decisions and make her feel like she's making some decisions for herself. This in turn keeps tantrums to a minimum. Though honestly, she doesn't have many tantrums and the ones she does have are pretty short lived. She knows that there are things I will give on and there are things I will not give on. I probably should be more consistent on certain issues. And there are times where I fully admit she suckered me with her cute and clever ways. Like when today I told her no candy and she came to me holding a bag of M&M's and wiggling her eyebrows saying, "Rook! I found M M's, Mommy! Can I? Can I? Huh? Can I? PLEASE?" Seriously, it's the funniest and cutest things ever!

My Kryptonite

My daughter is cute. I know everyone says this about their toddlers, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not just biased here. Jaycie is stinkin' cute. And she knows her cuteness is my Achilles heel. Like right before bed tonight my dear husband is giving himself a pedicure while sitting on the couch--oh the joys of marriage. While he is filing away at his calloused heel Jaycie decided to play with the lotion. This girl is obsessed with lotion...and water. So she presses the pump and dispenses a small amount into her hand. She realizes if she goes overboard I'll just put up the lotion. She then proceeds to dip her finger into the lotion in her hand and place little dots all over her face letting us know that she's putting on her makeup. When she goes to pump more the following conversation begins...

Me: Jaycie Bree, you know that's enough.

Jaycie (with an adorable smile and slight tilt of the head): Is OK, Mommy, I putting on makeup.

Me: Jaycie, no more lotion.

Jaycie (as she dispenses more lotion): Just one more time!

Me: Jaycie Bree, if you get lotion one more time I'll give you a spank.
Jaycie (as she smiles sweetly and holds up one finger): Just one second, Mama.

Me: JAYCIE! No more lotion! Do you want a spank?

Jaycie (as she covers her butt with her hands): Don't spank my butt, Mommy.

Me: Then no more lotion.

Jaycie (as she dispenses more lotion): OK, Mommy, just one more time.

She has a few key phrases that always put up red flags that she's about to get into trouble. There are two that are my favorite and both involve her putting up one finger. Sometimes she smiles sweetly, other time she puts on her very serious face like she's doing something very important and isn't to be bothered at the time. When Jaycie says, "Just one second!" or "I'll be right back!" you know she's up to something. You see, she knows that if she's cute enough I just might overlook her mischief, and she knows that I absolutely love when she uses her phrases. And if all else fails she pulls out the big guns. She puts on her sad face and goes "You mad at Jaycie? I'm sorry. Don't be mad, Mommy! Be happy with Jaycie!" as she throws her arms around my neck and kisses me. What can I say? Her cuteness is my kryptonite. (Hey, cuteness is in Wikipedia...it counts as a word!)

On Nursing In Public

When I was nursing my daughter I was very uncomfortable with the idea of nursing in public (or NIP). Thankfully, I had Jaycie in Germany. There is quite a different mindset over there about NIP. In fact, though not everyone does breastfeed, no one ever looks down on you for NIP. I soon became very comfortable nursing wherever I was as long as I was among Germans. NIP on the Army post was a different story. The very attitude that my fellow Americans had toward NIP was almost hostile and sometimes downright so. At the church I attended there was a fellow mom who nursed her infant son (child #4) during church. I wasn't quite so comfortable with NIP as to do that, I would take Jaycie to the cry room. I did try it once but felt the disapproving glares of every American in the sanctuary. Now, that could have just been my own insecurities playing tricks on me, but I felt it just the same.

Eventually I did get comfortable enough to nurse at restaurants (more out of necessity at first than anything else). But the most comfortable I ever felt while NIP was just enough to tuck myself away into a obscure corner and try to stay as incognito as possible. Even within the refuge of the women's lounge at Nordstrom I didn't feel comfortable. Actually, I think that it was there that I started to change how I felt about NIP. I mean in theory I felt that I should be able to nurse wherever whenever and never feel embarrassed, but I still did feel embarrassed. However, I'm the type of person to rebel against those who look down their noses at me in open contempt. And there, in Nordstrom's women's lounge, many women glared and whispered in shocked and gossipy tones at the nerve I must have had to feed my baby in such a public place.

How did we even get to that point? How did Americans get so against breastfeeding a baby that I am not safe from scorn even in a woman's lounge? When did breastfeeding in general become so repugnant? Breastmilk is the best nourishment for an infant. It even says so on cans of formula. When I found out I was pregnant with Jaycie I didn't even think about how I was going to feed her. I assumed I'd need lots of bottles though. Growing up it was rare to see someon actually breastfeeding. When I was forced to really think about it, of course I wanted to do what was best for my baby. So I researched. That's what I do, I research the crap out of things, plus I had a great resource available to me...www.babycenter.com and my birth board. So when all of us moms-to-be contemplated... err... fought about which was best I came to the conclusion that breastfeeding was indeed the best thing for my child. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, but I wasn't confident enough in myself to actually do so. I questioned my instincts when others made their doubts clear. I allowed myself to be bullied and shamed into feeding Jaycie bottles of formula because I didn't trust myself. Instead of planning to NIP, I'd bring bottles so Jaycie wouldn't have to skip a meal if we'd be out long.

I'm not sure what happened, maybe I just gained more experience and confidence once I realized Jaycie was turning out OK so far. Or maybe it was because my husband became comfortable with NIP. I don't know. But by the time Jacobe came along I felt free to NIP. I still do. I'll nurse anywhere. I don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. I don't go and hide out. Sometimes I will opt to go into a quieter room, but not because I'm embarrassed. Other times I'll wait to nurse or go elsewhere because I know it makes someone in the room especially uncomfortable. I wonder if it's just that my confidence has grown and I don't care enough to notice others' reactions or if the mindset of Americans concerning NIP is changing. Is it becoming more mainstream to nurse, and to NIP? I certainly hope so. When I found the church we currently attend I met a lovely couple. They have three children and the youngest has recently had his first birthday. I was amazed when I saw her nurse her baby. And even more I admired her for doing so. She wasn't German like the only other person I knew who ever nursed in church. She was American and nursing in an American church. What amazed me even more was that no one minded her at all. It was just what it was. It wasn't scandalous, it wasn't repulsive, it was... natural.

Once I had Jacobe I felt free to nurse in church. My friend paved the way for me to feel comfortable nursing in church. And now I feel like I'm doing my small part in helping to change the way Americans feel about NIP. I want every mom to feel comfortable with doing one of the most natural things we can do for our babies. Don't get me wrong, I totally support modesty in NIP. I don't like to make others feel uncomfortable. I know some people who will whip out their boobs wherever they are. Some seem to relish in the way they make others squirm. I might not always cover fully with a blanket (it does get hot) but I assure you, you won't have to see my boob. I never covered with a blanket in the "Mother Rooms" in Germany (rooms set aside for parents to change or feed their kids). They were never equipped with air conditioning. Fathers would come up to me and talk with me while patting Jaycie's (gasp) exposed head. I felt neither embarrassed or immodest. I chatted with them like nothing was going on. Indeed, nothing was. I was feeding my baby just like they were changing diapers and one was no more immodest of an act than the other.

I thought about this a lot today after church. What brought it to mind? We sit near the back of the church (it's easy escape if one of the kids blow a gasket). In the row behind us is a line of amazing women. They love to coo at Jacobe and bribe Jaycie to sit with them by flashing pens and candy (it doesn't take much really, all they'd have to do is motion for her to come and she'd be there in a flash). One lady commented on Jacobe's outfit one Sunday and said how he looked like such a little man and that when her son was a baby they only had little gowns for baby boys and she had to make her own pants for him if she wanted him in anything else. Then she went on to say "but my baby is 72 now." She has a baby who's 72? Wow! That's incredible to me. Like I said, these women are amazing. Today, as I nursed Jacobe one of the ladies bent forward to tell me how in her day women didn't need to cover their babies with blankets and they would just nurse anywhere whenever they needed to. They apparently carried these small crocheted hankies and placed them on their breast to cover up. That was it. A handkerchief. Here I am nursing Jacobe under a blanket and all I need is a handkerchief. I should have asked her to make me one. I can just picture those same women in that same row in the same church (it's an old church) all nursing their little babies together each with a crocheted hankie sitting politely on their breast. Is it just me? Am I the only one who thinks that that is the most awesome thing ever? See, this is why I never ever mind nursing in front of old people. Because "back in their day" NIP was normal. There wasn't even a term for nursing in public. Why would there be? Just like today no one says "bottle-feeding in public". I hope that one day we'll get back to that mindset.

I also hope that I don't sound preachy. When Jacobe was in NICU I had plenty of time to talk with the nurses. They asked me if I was going to breastfeed and if I felt comfortable doing so because there were plenty of classes available for me if I didn't. I assured them that I was and that I nursed my daughter until she was 15 mos. They were amazed that I was able to make it so long and each proceeded to say how long they had made it--6 mos, 8 mos, etc. I laughed and told them that if I had a full-time job I wouldn't have even made it to 3 mos. I absolutely despise pumping. But as it was I stayed at home with nothing better to do than nurse nurse nurse. And whether it was all the extensive research I did on breastfeeding or my luck, I had no problems nursing either babies. They both had perfect latches, I made the perfect amount of milk (still do), and I've only had to battle mastitis a few times. Even a week in NICU wasn't enough to deter my resolve to breastfeed. I just took my baby home and nursed nursed nursed. And I'm still nursing--anywhere and anytime I need to.

PS, I love old people. After church we were shopping for groceries when Jacobe flashed an older man passing by a huge smile. He stopped and asked Josh how old he was and when Josh told him he was six months the man laughed and in jest said, "It's a shame you don't feed that baby enough!" I'm still laughing. I love it!

Jacobe's Six Month Well Baby!!

Today I took Jacobe in for his six month well baby appointment. I guessed that he would tip the scales at 20 lbs and I was right! They didn't tell me how long he was, unfortunately, even though I asked several times. They just kept giving me his placement on the growth chart. According to the Dr he is 90% for his weight and just under 80% for his height and 90% for weight-to-height ratio. The nurses adore him and seem so excited to see him every time we come in. I know they probably do that for every baby but it seems like there are always more nurses cooing at Jacobe than most of the other babies I've seen come in. It could be his charming personality, his adorable chubbiness, his infectious smile, or all of the above. Whatever it is, it usually takes a good 10 minutes to even start triage because the nurses want to take their turn holding Chunk, ha ha. I love those nurses.

The Dr's/PA's on the other hand, I'm not so in love with. I guess you could consider me as one of those moms who goes against a lot of mainstream parenting. I've purposefully delayed introducing solids to Jacobe until he was six months. Well actually, I did feed him butternut squash a week and a half before he turned six months and I gave him a cantaloupe in a mesh feeder a week before his half birthday. However, I decided that I would wait until after this hectic Easter weekend before I truly started him on solids. And yes, I did skip cereal, I don't believe that introducing cereal first is necessary. The PA who saw Jacobe today seemed to almost chide me for not consistently feeding Jacobe solids yet. She said I could have started him at four months and to try feeding him mashed potatoes because babies love mashed potatoes (though I don't like the idea of the milk and butter that usually goes into it). Jaycie hated them anyway, she still does (though she devoured her twice-baked potato tonight and ate half of mine before I realized, go figure). She also told me to start him on juices and baby cookies. I really don't think he needs juices right now and certainly not baby cookies. Like I said, I'm not real mainstream. I do, however, base my decisions on a ton of research and my own motherly instinct. As Josh tells me, obviously I'm doing something right because Jaycie is such a great eater. I realize every kid is different and Jacobe could still become a picky eater, but at least I did my part to prevent that. I'm certainly not the type to look down on other people's decisions on when they start their kids on what. I just want to be left alone concerning my own decisions. Although, I do catch myself cringing at the young babies sucking down cola from their bottles to wash down the cookie their parents gave them. I still dilute my toddler's juice and she thinks water with a splash of pop is "Coke", and she thinks I'm the best mommy ever for giving it to her. That's not to say that she doesn't ever get an undiluted juice box or the very occasional small cup of undiluted pop. Heck, I even give her sips of my caramel macchiato and if I want to give her a super special treat I buy her own kid sized white chocolate steamed milk over ice from Starbucks. She loves that, and I love to take advantage of my Mommy privileges and override my usual strict rules.

There were two Dr's training during Jacobe's appt. They were learning the system and procedures. The female Dr seemed to be the one to spear head his appt. She did seem really nice and told me at one point, "Well, you already know what to do so I won't go over that." I really appreciated that. I'm always being treated like an inexperienced mother who seems the type to let her baby play with forks and electrical outlets. So it was nice to be acknowledged as a mother who kind of knows what she's doing. She's also the one who took notice of Jacobe's wheezing and didn't push it off like the Dr at his four month well baby did. We talked about his potential allergies and/or upper respiratory infections and/or asthma and/or acid reflux. She really seems to care enough to get to the bottom of it all and help make him better. She put him back on albuterol treatments via the nebulizer and we see her again on Monday. I think if this appointment goes well on Monday then I'll start asking to see her specifically.

There you have it. My boy is now 20 lbs and forcing me to make a decision on which car seat I'll buy for Jaycie (Jacobe will inherit her Marathon). I'm torn between the Britax Marathon or the Britax Frontier. The Frontier just seems way too grown up for Jaycie so I'm extremely hesitant to buy it, even if it will last her longer than the Marathon. Any thoughts? Josh calls me the "Car Seat Nazi". I didn't turn Jaycie around to forward-facing until two months after her second birthday. I'm a huge proponent of extended rear-facing and actually didn't want to turn Jaycie around until she turned three. And that's my recent conundrum. Anyway, here are some pictures of Jacobe dating back to his first taste of butternut squash.