Murphey's Law in Birthing Part Deux

Once I got pregnant with Jacobe I decided that things would be different. I was going to be in the States and I could actually take birthing classes. So Josh and I signed up for Lamaze. It was great if just for the fact that it allowed us time to spend with each other. My favorite part was practicing breathing, it was as if everyone in the room disappeared and it was just me and Josh. Unfortunately, we only were able to attend 3 of the 6 classes. However, I still gleaned quite a bit from the classes. It also made me realize that I had done a lot of these techniques naturally with Jaycie. I just didn't know it and then I lost control. I had wanted to attend Bradley Classes but they were too far away. So I picked up the book instead. I did a lot of research this time around. I was determined to be prepared.

Around my 8th month of pregnancy the Army hospital I was supposed to deliver at called me and told me they couldn't deliver there because they ran out of room and I needed to find a new provider and hospital by the next day. So I set about researching again. I decided on the hospital I wanted to deliver at. The only thing wrong with that hospital was their policy on monitoring the baby in the nursery for 4 hours. I was told that the nurses were more lenient then their sister hospital, and it was such a great hospital, so I made up my mind to deliver there. Then I looked for a Dr who would take Tricare and a new patient in her 8th month. I found a Dr who Josh and I really liked...except we didn't see eye-to-eye on a few issues. But he was very reassuring. Between the hospital and the Dr I began to wish I was back in Germany. Jaycie was never taken from me for more than half an hour when I had her, and they had encouraged the birthplan that I had decided on.

At 37 weeks I was 2 cm dilated and the Dr told me different ways to kick start labor. He said to drink lots of caffeine and to walk. However, he told me, the best way to start labor is to insert a medication near the cervix. He added that I could do this at home on my own because my husband had the medication and all he needed to do was insert it. All this was said as Josh got bright red. So a couple days later I convinced Josh to insert the medication. The next day the contractions weren't too hard but they were pretty consistently 5 mins apart so I went to the hospital. My Dr came to check on me and gave me a shot to try and stop labor. He said if I wasn't in true labor that it would stop with the shot but if I was in labor it would continue. I was confused as to why he would want to stop labor when he encouraged me to kickstart it. Then he told me that it was a Jewish holiday and he would be off that evening until the next and if I had the baby he wouldn't be able to deliver him. So I went home after the contractions slowed down. At midnight they started up again. I went back in when they were about 3-4 mins apart. They still weren't too bad though. I met the new Dr and he admitted me. And of course as soon as that happened my contractions slowed down...again.

I had to have the baby that night...our babysitter had classes in the morning. But I also didn't want pitocin or the Dr to break my water. Morning came and Josh picked Jaycie up and brought her back to the hospital. We had no one to babysit. Finally the Dr came in and told me if I didn't have the baby I'd have to have a C-sec because I had been in labor for 24 hours now. I finally gave in. They started the pitocin...contractions started hitting harder but they weren't as bad as I thought they would be. Then the Dr broke my bag of waters...The most uncomfortable procedure ever. I hope I never have to have that done again.

Then they started.... The hardest contractions I have ever felt. One after another they came...closer together they came. I used what I had learned in Lamaze, I used what I learned reading the Bradley book. I withdrew into myself and shut everything else out. I was determined to at least have the labor medication free. Everything else had gone "wrong", I was desperate to have at least that. It got harder and harder to concentrate on relaxing through the contractions. Several times I nearly lost it, but I knew if I did I would go hysterical and there was no calming me down after that. The Bradley book is called Husband Coached Childbirth because you are basically leaning on your husband to help you keep calm and feel safe. My husband was trying to keep our daughter entertained. It wasn't his fault, it was Murphey's Law. Once the contractions came back to back I knew I had to do something. I was losing it without Josh there to bring me back. So I asked for the epidural. I wanted to cry. I texted my friend saying everything was going wrong. But I knew I couldn't risk going into hysterics with my baby girl in the room. She'd be staying for the whole thing. Part of me was happy and excited that she'd be there and part of me was terrified. The nurse tending to me try to insist that Josh take Jaycie out of the room but I pleaded with the Dr and assured them that she would be fine. The nurse didn't believe me and said fine then Daddy would have to have her look out the window during the birth and if she started crying they had to take her out immediately. The anesthesiologist came in just as I hit full on transition. I shake during transition, I did so with Jaycie and I was doing so with Jacobe. My teeth chatter and I can barely hold still. And yet I was asked to hold still for this long needle they were going to stick in my back. But at this point I was desperate. I had planned to ask for a low dose but once the shaking started it slipped my mind. I wish it hadn't. They gave me a large dose that though felt oh so good...it also kept me in bed for a lot longer than I had hoped. However, at that moment I felt sweet relief. After a few minutes I no longer felt anything and became upset knowing I wouldn't be able to even know when to push. I couldn't even move my legs at all. I was still shaking but it was dying down. I should have realized that I was about to have the baby. The nurse came in about 30 minutes after I got the epidural and realized that the baby was coming...NOW. She could see his head. She ran to call the Dr and told me not to move, not to push, and not even to cough. The Dr came in quickly. I had never met him before. He was nice but had confined me to the bed my whole labor. They started getting me in position. I told the nurse I wanted to sit up more and not lay on my back. She laughed at me and told me no. The Dr wore glasses and I could see everything in the reflection. I couldn't look away even though I wanted to, but I'm glad I didn't. I pushed once and the baby's head emerged. The Dr suctioned everything out and another push and the baby was out. They put him on my belly while they cleaned me up. There he was, my little baby boy. Then they wiped him off and wrapped him up and gave him to Josh and Jaycie. Jaycie was amazed at her baby brother. She immediately said, "Aww, Baby. Ryce?" (she called him Ryce during the pregnancy). Then they gave him a bath and brought him back to me all bundled up. He was so sweet and looked so perfect. I was so happy. And even though everything didn't go the way I had planned it, there was my tiny little baby in my arms.

Murphey's Law in Birthing

When I was pregnant with my daughter I remember thinking, and telling people, that labor couldn't be THAT bad or women wouldn't keep having babies. I wasn't worried about it. I had decided to do a natural birth with no medications and letting nature take it's course. I was also convinced I'd have the baby earlier because she was measuring so big. So my mom came to visit and stayed three weeks. Well, after week 2 had come and gone we realized that this baby wasn't coming anytime soon. So for my mother's sake we induced.

I was in Germany for her birth. I had great expectations of how wonderful this experience would be. I absolutely loved my Dr and I just knew I'd get one of the two midwives I adored. Ah, yes...Murphey's Law. My Dr told me he was going on holiday and wouldn't be back in time to deliver my baby, but the other Dr was great and he'd be there. I didn't like that Dr. He was great, but he didn't speak much English so I think that made him less communicative. To top it off, the midwife I got that day was the Russian who though was very sweet, didn't speak hardly any English at all. No, my birthing experience was not the perfect and beautiful experience I had hoped for. I was terrified because of the lack of communication and instead of the serene and beautiful birth I pictured I ended up a hysterical mess. Now, not to say that the Dr and midwife were at fault. They did the best they could under the circumstances. They thought I'd end up needing a C-section because I was progressing so slowly. Transition hit me pretty hard and fast...you know, the moment when your body tells you the baby is coming NOW. The Dr didn't even get there in time and the poor midwife was left alone to deal with this hysterical mother-to-be. I laugh thinking back on it. It's my own fault for not doing more research and really preparing myself for what might happen. I told myself that next time...yes next time I would be prepared and I would have that serene and beautiful birthing experience. Well, I told myself that once I got over the fear of having another baby. It's true what they say...women are programmed to forget the worst of labor.

Hello again...

It's been a long time since my last post and I was chided by a good friend of mine. So I decided to start blogging a little more consistently. Since my last blog my life has changed quite a bit. So this blog is dedicated to catching up.

Several months after my last post Josh and I decided we wanted to try and have another baby...but not yet. We debated when the best time would be, how far apart the children should be, and of course we had to factor in our upcoming move through the Army (or in military terms, PCS). Finally, in February '08 we decided to try in March. Funny thing was that I was already pregnant. My good friend, Steph, (same one who is making me blog again) informed me I was pregnant. I had been complaining of complete fatigue and flu like symptoms. Josh had been in the field for 2 weeks a week and a half before this conversation. Steph has great baby radar. I decided that it was way to early too test even though she begged me to. I hate wasting money. So I waited 2-3 weeks and tested...sure enough I was pregnant. I waited a few more weeks before seeing the ob and he confirmed. Yes, Steph had figured out I was pregnant when I was less than 2 weeks along. Best part of all this? On the way back from training in the field (basically military speak for out in the middle of nowhere) Josh jokes with his fellow soldiers, "Gotta hurry! I wanna make a baby!"

Well, that May we were shipped to El Paso, TX. The hottest, dirtiest, most miserable place I have ever lived. But really, it's not so bad... especially since I'm not in my 3rd trimester in the heat of summer anymore. We're living in a nice cozy 3 bedroom house in a military community. I like my house other than the tiny kitchen. Oh, and yeah...I still haven't unpacked all my dishes, oops. The silver lining of moving here was that our good friends and neighbors in Germany were moving to El Paso at the same time. We would be able to celebrate our 4th Thanksgiving together.

Then in October I had my beautiful baby boy. I'll blog more about that experience later. And brings us pretty much up to date. Anything I've skipped really needs it's own post. So I guess I have a lot of blogging to do.