Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A Magic Raisin and Toddler Compassion

Neither one of these really have anything to do with the other, but I thought I'd double up the topics on this post instead of posting twice. Let's start with "A Magic Raisin". If you watch Spongebob (which unfortunately, Jaycie loves) then you might remember the episode where SB and Patrick play inside a box all day. Squidworth is determined to find out where all the realistic noises are coming from from inside the box. SB keeps insisting that it's the powers of "Imagination" and makes a rainbow like arching motion with his hands as he says the word. Yesterday, Jaycie was talking to Josh and when he asked her where she came up with something she made an arching motion with her hands and said " it's a magic raisin, Daddy!" Of course, not seeing the episode, he was thoroughly confused as I was dying in laughter. He asked her what a magic raisin is and she just laughed with me slapping her knee from time to time. After I finally gained my composure I explained to him that it was "imagination" she was trying to say. Regardless of how she says it, Jaycie does have oodles of magic raisins.

On to "Toddler Compassion". This is a more sombering topic than the previous paragraph, but it's too sweet to pass on. My daughter not only has oodles of imagination she is also filled with compassion. Whenever she thinks Mommy is hurt or upset she gets upset and tries to fix it. Take last week for instance. I just got home from Walmart at 11:30 pm with the Tylenol for Jaycie's fever. I had started to feel chest pains on the way home but I tried to brush them off. I came home to find Jaycie awake on the bed and Josh fast asleep. So I gave her her medicine and then climbed into bed. Shortly afterward my chest pains got unbearable. I grabbed my chest and curled up and began to whimper in pain hoping not to scare Jaycie. She knew something was wrong though and patted my back telling me to calm down that she was here. My breathing had gone ragged through the pain and she tried to wake up Josh telling him, "Daddy, Mommy can't breathe!" He woke up for a second and asked if I was ok not waiting to hear the answer before he fell asleep again. Jaycie, however, stuck by my side hugging me and stroking my face telling me it was ok until the pain finally subsided. I hate that she had to witness Mommy in such pain, but I'm so glad that my little girl has such a heart of gold. She's makes me so proud.

Oh, and I do have an appointment to see the Dr tomorrow about my chest pains. I've had them for several years now and I always thought they were panic attacks. However, I think there's something else wrong since I get them even when I'm not stressed or worrying about something.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Mommyhood Is Exhausting But Amusing...

I'm so tired--incredibly tired. I don't know when the last time I had a good night sleep was. Jacobe was sleeping pretty well and suddenly he's not. I get to sleep late because by the time I finally get him to sleep I haven't had any "Me" time and most likely any "Us" time with Joshua either. So we stay up late...usually to watch a movie. By the time I do get to bed Jacobe is ready to play again. Last night it took me an hour to get him back to sleep...only to have to repeat the process an hour later. I got lucky though, after that he actually slept until 5:30am. He was ready to play. I fed him, amused him for a bit then put him back in his crib and he slept for another 2 hours. I was lucky last night. I don't usually get that much sleep. So I'm pretty sleep deprived lately. Add to that Jaycie's seemingly non-stop whining (likely due to teething) and downright devious acts and throw in the fact that Jacobe seems to be in just as foul of a mood. Well, I'm not the jolliest person to be around lately. However, I do try to be patient with them. I don't always succeed.

In the midst of the recent dysfunction are glimmers of the happy children I once had. Such as today when I asked Jaycie if she was my fuzz head (a recent nickname for her that she loves). She replied saying "No, I'm not a fuzz head, I'm a little genius." So now anytime we ask her if she's a fuzz head she says she's a genius. Or like the other day when she came up to Josh, turned around, pointed to her booty and said, "There's a baby in there!" then farted. Where did she get that from?? She also came up to me today and said, "Hey Santa Claus, I need to potty." When I answered in my normal voice she insisted, "Hey SANTA CLAUS!" Until finally I answered in what must be Santa's voice with a hearty "Ho Ho Ho!" Not only Jaycie, I also get flashes of my sweet baby boy. My boy who used to be so happy is now usually crying if I'm not holding him and a lot of times when I am holding him. I'm at the end of my rope with him. I don't know what to do with him since he refuses to sleep at night or for naps. But when I'm reaching that point of total exasperation he looks up at me and smiles. He reminds me of that happy chunk that I love so much. OK, so I love him even when he's screaming bloody murder because I walked out of his sight... but it's nice to see him happy again. It must be teething. I hope I never ever have to have 2 teething children under the same roof again.

So, though my children are driving me insane right now and I tear my hair out and stare at the clock counting down the minutes to Josh's arrival, I still love them. And I try to remember the little things that they do that make me smile, or melt my heart, or have me rolling in laughter. I love being a mom, even when I hate it.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

15 Things I Love About Being A Mommy

Today I was thinking about how much I love my children and everything about them. I thought about the different things I love about them, and the things they do that make me smile. So I thought I'd make a list of the first 15 things that came to mind that makes me love being their mommy.
  1. How Jaycie talks back to me. It makes me mad and frustrated and she does get disciplined for it. However, it shows that she's her own little person who's learning to think for herself. Besides, some of the things she comes up with are pretty clever and hilarious!
  2. How Jacobe gets so excited in the morning when we get ready for the day and how he nearly jumps out of my arms in excitement when we walk out of the bedroom and greet the day.
  3. I love seeing Jaycie's creativity blossom. I love her huge imagination and how she can make a game out of anything even if she just has two little bread crumbs to play with.
  4. I love how happy Jacobe is and how he's happy almost all of the time. I love how he smiles when you look his way. I love how he smiles when you pick him up. I love how he smiles when you talk to him. He just loves to smile. I love it.
  5. I love the looks Jaycie gives me when she knows she's not supposed to be doing something but thinks she just might be able to pull it off. Or how when she gets caught she acts like she was going to ask permission all along.
  6. I also love when she does ask permission first...Like when she sees my Coke on the table and begins to ask "Can I?" with the cutest little face while wiggling her eyebrows until I finally give in.
  7. I love how since the very first time I nursed him, Jacobe will pull off every so often to look up at me and give me the sweetest smile.
  8. And how his laugh is the cutest laugh ever!
  9. I love how both my kids are the cuddliest babies ever. I love how they both love me to cuddle them and especially to fall asleep. While this is annoying at times (like when they decide that's the only way they'll sleep), I do love that I can snuggle them they'll fall asleep on my chest or in my lap.
  10. I love how Jaycie sounds on the phone, especially when she's talking to me. She's so stinkin' cute!
  11. I love how Jacobe's a definite mama's boy. I love how nobody can make it better like Mommy can. And while this can be such a pain, I still love it. And I love that Jaycie was that way too when she was a baby, and how when she's really upset no one soothes her like Mommy can.
  12. I love how Jaycie can fall hard and jump up and laugh it off saying, "I'm ok, Mommy, I'm ok!"
  13. I love how Jacobe thrashes around when he's sleepy. It's so sweet and funny and a little disturbing all at the same time. haha.
  14. I love how some of Jaycie's best friends are "puppets" made from mommy's hand.
  15. I love how both kids love me unconditionally and are so quick to forgive my imperfections. When I take too long to get Jacobe out of his crib he's just so happy that I'm getting him to dwell on how long it took. And when my patience wears thin and I yell at Jaycie, I love how forgiving she is and how quick she is to give me a hug and tell me she loves me.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Jacobe's Eating Solids

I'm sure I've mentioned that Jacobe has started solids. Though, he really hasn't eaten much. I tried butternut squash (my sister made it for Havanna while she was here) and he didn't like that much. I tried applesauce, but again that was a no go. He likes bananas but prefers to have them frozen in a mesh feeder, not spoon fed. He also likes cantaloupe in the mesh feeder. Rice cereal is definitely not a favorite for him. So really, feeding him solids is more like trying to coax him to take the smallest bit of whatever I'm offering. Usually he absolutely refuses after the first bite or gags every time I do get the spoon in his mouth. That is, until tonight. I grabbed what I thought was a sweet potato from the potato bar at Golden Corral tonight. It was a yam. Oh well, close enough. I opened it up and mashed it up with a tad bit of water and a couple pieces of ice to cool it down. That boy tore it up. He ate a surprisingly large amount of the yam. I was beginning to think he just didn't want anything to do with solids yet, but apparently he was just waiting for the right food. Jaycie was always a sucker for the sweet potatoes (or gogumah as she calls them, which is Korean for sweet potato). So looks like I need to go to the health food store and stock up on some organic sweet potatoes and yams. Maybe I'll try some butternut squash again. Although, you know the other day the nurse said I better not feed him solids yet. She said I'd have to get 3 jobs just to have enough money to feed him. After seeing him tear up that yam, I think she's right. HAHA!

Friday, April 24, 2009

My Core Values of Parenting...

Like I've mentioned before, I'm pretty laid back as a parent. However, there are a few areas where I feel very strongly on. I've decided I should talk with Josh about our core values of parenting so that there are areas that we never disagree about. We already have a few that we have always agreed on without actually declaring them core values. I tell my sister that just because I feel strongly about something or I don't feel strongly about something doesn't mean that she's wrong. And just because her Dr tells her something doesn't mean that she has to take his word for it. Every well baby appointment or checkup for the kids the pediatrician gives me a hand out on taking care of my baby/toddler. There are some things I agree with and other things I don't agree with. At Jacobe's 6 mos well baby appointment the Dr insinuated that I should have started him on solids at 4 mos and that now I should play catch up by handing him a baby cookie and giving him mashed potatoes. Both of those foods have multiple ingredients that I don't believe he's ready for. I respectfully disagree with my Dr's and their hand outs all the time. Every book and hand out and Dr's advice are usually based on opinion. One hand out said I should be letting Jacobe cry it out now. I disagree. I let him fuss, but if he starts crying I pick him up. You can always find a book or a Dr who will back your decisions if it's not a major issue. All Dr's agree that you don't feed infants under 12 mos honey or peanut butter and that you keep your baby rear-facing in their car seat until 20 lbs AND 1 year for example. The minor issues are up for debate.

I know there are people who don't agree with my decisions. But I am Mommy, and I am in charge. I'm the one who has to live with my decisions. So I research research research. I read as many books and legitimate websites as I can about child rearing and nutrition and what not. I don't make my decisions lightly and certainly not my core values. Here is a rough draft of my personal core values. I'll post the ones we set in stone once we have that discussion.
  • Raising them in church is very important to us. And also knowing what they believe not just believing because they're told to.
  • Car seat safety is always priority one. We always take extra time to ensure the car seats are installed correctly. I'll keep them rear-facing until at least 2 years if I can at all help it.
  • No cry it out (CIO) as infants, especially in the early months. I feel (and there are many psychologists who agree) that if a baby is allowed to CIO too early they develop separation anxiety and even abandonment rage.
  • Nutrition is important. I want to give my kids the best start and not battle the weight issues that Josh and I have (and do). This includes no junk food until 1 year and even then at a very minimal amount (birthday cake and pizza crust is ok here and there). And I try my hardest to keep fast food away from them until they're 2, though it didn't happen quite that way with Jaycie. Pretty close though.
  • Education is very important. From working with them as babies to providing a way for them to go to college, we want to make sure they have the best education possible.

Well, those are the ones I can think of now, and the ones that I'm pretty rigid on. And now I have to tend to number 3 on the list...I'd like to go more into each of these at some point. But right now I have to console a baby boy.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

She's Celery!

I know, two posts in one day. I just had to post this. Right now I'm listening to Jaycie sing a song about celery. She learned the song while watching Olivia--one of her new favorite shows. In this episode Olivia is helping her friend, Julian, overcome his fear of singing in public for their recital. They all had to dress like a fruit or veggie and sing a song that described them. His song was about celery and his goal in life is to become a famous rock star. So in several scenes he's singing like a rock star this celery song. Every so often Jaycie rocks out the song...

Celeraaaaaay!
Chop me uuuuup in soooouuuup!
Use me diiiip! I'm a scoooooooooop!
I'm celeraaaaaaaaaay!!!

She really does sing it like a rock star. I love that girl!

I Call It Compromise, My Friends Call It Suckered...


My parenting style is pretty laid back. I still discipline and I have boundaries and rules. However, there is some flexibility in there. For instance, bedtime is usually an ordeal at our house. Jaycie just does not like to go to bed on her own. She will, eventually, and she's not nearly as bad as she used to be. It used to take a good 2 hours of constant screaming before she'd go to sleep. Well, since she is doing much better with the whole bedtime thing I compromise with her every now and then, mainly when I'm too tired to devote at least 30 minutes to singing her songs, reading her books, singing her songs, saying goodnight to all her stuffed animals. It's a whole ritual, really. The compromise is I give her a choice. She can either go to sleep in her bed or Mommy's bed. When she sleeps in Mommy's bed she gets to sleep on Mommy's pillow and I read one story, sing one song, and say prayers with her and say goodnight and she's out. If I put her to sleep in her bed sometimes she'll get out of bed and come up with a million excuses of why she can't go to sleep right then, most of which are ignored. Then when I'm ready for bed I move her to her own bed and all is good. She still goes to sleep fairly well in her own bed the next night, so I don't feel like it's a bad compromise at all.

There are other small things I compromise on. If I hear her playing with water and I know she's not making a huge mess I'll overlook it. I do like her to explore her creativity through water play, so I don't think it's a big deal. Josh would disagree, but we agree to disagree on some things. If Jaycie asks me for a snack and I originally say no because she didn't finish her lunch I'll compromise later by saying if she finishes a certain amount of said lunch she'll get some sort of fruit, but not the pudding she asked for. I try not to sweat the small stuff. If I did I would go insane. So, I compromise. I feel like it's a great way to teach Jaycie about decisions and make her feel like she's making some decisions for herself. This in turn keeps tantrums to a minimum. Though honestly, she doesn't have many tantrums and the ones she does have are pretty short lived. She knows that there are things I will give on and there are things I will not give on. I probably should be more consistent on certain issues. And there are times where I fully admit she suckered me with her cute and clever ways. Like when today I told her no candy and she came to me holding a bag of M&M's and wiggling her eyebrows saying, "Rook! I found M M's, Mommy! Can I? Can I? Huh? Can I? PLEASE?" Seriously, it's the funniest and cutest things ever!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

My Kryptonite

My daughter is cute. I know everyone says this about their toddlers, but I'm pretty sure that I'm not just biased here. Jaycie is stinkin' cute. And she knows her cuteness is my Achilles heel. Like right before bed tonight my dear husband is giving himself a pedicure while sitting on the couch--oh the joys of marriage. While he is filing away at his calloused heel Jaycie decided to play with the lotion. This girl is obsessed with lotion...and water. So she presses the pump and dispenses a small amount into her hand. She realizes if she goes overboard I'll just put up the lotion. She then proceeds to dip her finger into the lotion in her hand and place little dots all over her face letting us know that she's putting on her makeup. When she goes to pump more the following conversation begins...

Me: Jaycie Bree, you know that's enough.
Jaycie (with an adorable smile and slight tilt of the head): Is OK, Mommy, I putting on makeup.
Me: Jaycie, no more lotion.
Jaycie (as she dispenses more lotion): Just one more time!
Me: Jaycie Bree, if you get lotion one more time I'll give you a spank.
Jaycie (as she smiles sweetly and holds up one finger): Just one second, Mama.
Me: JAYCIE! No more lotion! Do you want a spank?
Jaycie (as she covers her butt with her hands): Don't spank my butt, Mommy.
Me: Then no more lotion.
Jaycie (as she dispenses more lotion): OK, Mommy, just one more time.

She has a few key phrases that always put up red flags that she's about to get into trouble. There are two that are my favorite and both involve her putting up one finger. Sometimes she smiles sweetly, other time she puts on her very serious face like she's doing something very important and isn't to be bothered at the time. When Jaycie says, "Just one second!" or "I'll be right back!" you know she's up to something. You see, she knows that if she's cute enough I just might overlook her mischief, and she knows that I absolutely love when she uses her phrases. And if all else fails she pulls out the big guns. She puts on her sad face and goes "You mad at Jaycie? I'm sorry. Don't be mad, Mommy! Be happy with Jaycie!" as she throws her arms around my neck and kisses me. What can I say? Her cuteness is my kryptonite. (Hey, cuteness is in Wikipedia...it counts as a word!)

Sunday, April 19, 2009

On Nursing In Public

When I was nursing my daughter I was very uncomfortable with the idea of nursing in public (or NIP). Thankfully, I had Jaycie in Germany. There is quite a different mindset over there about NIP. In fact, though not everyone does breastfeed, no one ever looks down on you for NIP. I soon became very comfortable nursing wherever I was as long as I was among Germans. NIP on the Army post was a different story. The very attitude that my fellow Americans had toward NIP was almost hostile and sometimes downright so. At the church I attended there was a fellow mom who nursed her infant son (child #4) during church. I wasn't quite so comfortable with NIP as to do that, I would take Jaycie to the cry room. I did try it once but felt the disapproving glares of every American in the sanctuary. Now, that could have just been my own insecurities playing tricks on me, but I felt it just the same.

Eventually I did get comfortable enough to nurse at restaurants (more out of necessity at first than anything else). But the most comfortable I ever felt while NIP was just enough to tuck myself away into a obscure corner and try to stay as incognito as possible. Even within the refuge of the women's lounge at Nordstrom I didn't feel comfortable. Actually, I think that it was there that I started to change how I felt about NIP. I mean in theory I felt that I should be able to nurse wherever whenever and never feel embarrassed, but I still did feel embarrassed. However, I'm the type of person to rebel against those who look down their noses at me in open contempt. And there, in Nordstrom's women's lounge, many women glared and whispered in shocked and gossipy tones at the nerve I must have had to feed my baby in such a public place.

How did we even get to that point? How did Americans get so against breastfeeding a baby that I am not safe from scorn even in a woman's lounge? When did breastfeeding in general become so repugnant? Breastmilk is the best nourishment for an infant. It even says so on cans of formula. When I found out I was pregnant with Jaycie I didn't even think about how I was going to feed her. I assumed I'd need lots of bottles though. Growing up it was rare to see someon actually breastfeeding. When I was forced to really think about it, of course I wanted to do what was best for my baby. So I researched. That's what I do, I research the crap out of things, plus I had a great resource available to me...www.babycenter.com and my birth board. So when all of us moms-to-be contemplated... err... fought about which was best I came to the conclusion that breastfeeding was indeed the best thing for my child. I wanted to exclusively breastfeed, but I wasn't confident enough in myself to actually do so. I questioned my instincts when others made their doubts clear. I allowed myself to be bullied and shamed into feeding Jaycie bottles of formula because I didn't trust myself. Instead of planning to NIP, I'd bring bottles so Jaycie wouldn't have to skip a meal if we'd be out long.

I'm not sure what happened, maybe I just gained more experience and confidence once I realized Jaycie was turning out OK so far. Or maybe it was because my husband became comfortable with NIP. I don't know. But by the time Jacobe came along I felt free to NIP. I still do. I'll nurse anywhere. I don't feel ashamed or embarrassed. I don't go and hide out. Sometimes I will opt to go into a quieter room, but not because I'm embarrassed. Other times I'll wait to nurse or go elsewhere because I know it makes someone in the room especially uncomfortable. I wonder if it's just that my confidence has grown and I don't care enough to notice others' reactions or if the mindset of Americans concerning NIP is changing. Is it becoming more mainstream to nurse, and to NIP? I certainly hope so. When I found the church we currently attend I met a lovely couple. They have three children and the youngest has recently had his first birthday. I was amazed when I saw her nurse her baby. And even more I admired her for doing so. She wasn't German like the only other person I knew who ever nursed in church. She was American and nursing in an American church. What amazed me even more was that no one minded her at all. It was just what it was. It wasn't scandalous, it wasn't repulsive, it was... natural.

Once I had Jacobe I felt free to nurse in church. My friend paved the way for me to feel comfortable nursing in church. And now I feel like I'm doing my small part in helping to change the way Americans feel about NIP. I want every mom to feel comfortable with doing one of the most natural things we can do for our babies. Don't get me wrong, I totally support modesty in NIP. I don't like to make others feel uncomfortable. I know some people who will whip out their boobs wherever they are. Some seem to relish in the way they make others squirm. I might not always cover fully with a blanket (it does get hot) but I assure you, you won't have to see my boob. I never covered with a blanket in the "Mother Rooms" in Germany (rooms set aside for parents to change or feed their kids). They were never equipped with air conditioning. Fathers would come up to me and talk with me while patting Jaycie's (gasp) exposed head. I felt neither embarrassed or immodest. I chatted with them like nothing was going on. Indeed, nothing was. I was feeding my baby just like they were changing diapers and one was no more immodest of an act than the other.

I thought about this a lot today after church. What brought it to mind? We sit near the back of the church (it's easy escape if one of the kids blow a gasket). In the row behind us is a line of amazing women. They love to coo at Jacobe and bribe Jaycie to sit with them by flashing pens and candy (it doesn't take much really, all they'd have to do is motion for her to come and she'd be there in a flash). One lady commented on Jacobe's outfit one Sunday and said how he looked like such a little man and that when her son was a baby they only had little gowns for baby boys and she had to make her own pants for him if she wanted him in anything else. Then she went on to say "but my baby is 72 now." She has a baby who's 72? Wow! That's incredible to me. Like I said, these women are amazing. Today, as I nursed Jacobe one of the ladies bent forward to tell me how in her day women didn't need to cover their babies with blankets and they would just nurse anywhere whenever they needed to. They apparently carried these small crocheted hankies and placed them on their breast to cover up. That was it. A handkerchief. Here I am nursing Jacobe under a blanket and all I need is a handkerchief. I should have asked her to make me one. I can just picture those same women in that same row in the same church (it's an old church) all nursing their little babies together each with a crocheted hankie sitting politely on their breast. Is it just me? Am I the only one who thinks that that is the most awesome thing ever? See, this is why I never ever mind nursing in front of old people. Because "back in their day" NIP was normal. There wasn't even a term for nursing in public. Why would there be? Just like today no one says "bottle-feeding in public". I hope that one day we'll get back to that mindset.

I also hope that I don't sound preachy. When Jacobe was in NICU I had plenty of time to talk with the nurses. They asked me if I was going to breastfeed and if I felt comfortable doing so because there were plenty of classes available for me if I didn't. I assured them that I was and that I nursed my daughter until she was 15 mos. They were amazed that I was able to make it so long and each proceeded to say how long they had made it--6 mos, 8 mos, etc. I laughed and told them that if I had a full-time job I wouldn't have even made it to 3 mos. I absolutely despise pumping. But as it was I stayed at home with nothing better to do than nurse nurse nurse. And whether it was all the extensive research I did on breastfeeding or my luck, I had no problems nursing either babies. They both had perfect latches, I made the perfect amount of milk (still do), and I've only had to battle mastitis a few times. Even a week in NICU wasn't enough to deter my resolve to breastfeed. I just took my baby home and nursed nursed nursed. And I'm still nursing--anywhere and anytime I need to.

PS, I love old people. After church we were shopping for groceries when Jacobe flashed an older man passing by a huge smile. He stopped and asked Josh how old he was and when Josh told him he was six months the man laughed and in jest said, "It's a shame you don't feed that baby enough!" I'm still laughing. I love it!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Jacobe's Six Month Well Baby!!

Today I took Jacobe in for his six month well baby appointment. I guessed that he would tip the scales at 20 lbs and I was right! They didn't tell me how long he was, unfortunately, even though I asked several times. They just kept giving me his placement on the growth chart. According to the Dr he is 90% for his weight and just under 80% for his height and 90% for weight-to-height ratio. The nurses adore him and seem so excited to see him every time we come in. I know they probably do that for every baby but it seems like there are always more nurses cooing at Jacobe than most of the other babies I've seen come in. It could be his charming personality, his adorable chubbiness, his infectious smile, or all of the above. Whatever it is, it usually takes a good 10 minutes to even start triage because the nurses want to take their turn holding Chunk, ha ha. I love those nurses.

The Dr's/PA's on the other hand, I'm not so in love with. I guess you could consider me as one of those moms who goes against a lot of mainstream parenting. I've purposefully delayed introducing solids to Jacobe until he was six months. Well actually, I did feed him butternut squash a week and a half before he turned six months and I gave him a cantaloupe in a mesh feeder a week before his half birthday. However, I decided that I would wait until after this hectic Easter weekend before I truly started him on solids. And yes, I did skip cereal, I don't believe that introducing cereal first is necessary. The PA who saw Jacobe today seemed to almost chide me for not consistently feeding Jacobe solids yet. She said I could have started him at four months and to try feeding him mashed potatoes because babies love mashed potatoes (though I don't like the idea of the milk and butter that usually goes into it). Jaycie hated them anyway, she still does (though she devoured her twice-baked potato tonight and ate half of mine before I realized, go figure). She also told me to start him on juices and baby cookies. I really don't think he needs juices right now and certainly not baby cookies. Like I said, I'm not real mainstream. I do, however, base my decisions on a ton of research and my own motherly instinct. As Josh tells me, obviously I'm doing something right because Jaycie is such a great eater. I realize every kid is different and Jacobe could still become a picky eater, but at least I did my part to prevent that. I'm certainly not the type to look down on other people's decisions on when they start their kids on what. I just want to be left alone concerning my own decisions. Although, I do catch myself cringing at the young babies sucking down cola from their bottles to wash down the cookie their parents gave them. I still dilute my toddler's juice and she thinks water with a splash of pop is "Coke", and she thinks I'm the best mommy ever for giving it to her. That's not to say that she doesn't ever get an undiluted juice box or the very occasional small cup of undiluted pop. Heck, I even give her sips of my caramel macchiato and if I want to give her a super special treat I buy her own kid sized white chocolate steamed milk over ice from Starbucks. She loves that, and I love to take advantage of my Mommy privileges and override my usual strict rules.

There were two Dr's training during Jacobe's appt. They were learning the system and procedures. The female Dr seemed to be the one to spear head his appt. She did seem really nice and told me at one point, "Well, you already know what to do so I won't go over that." I really appreciated that. I'm always being treated like an inexperienced mother who seems the type to let her baby play with forks and electrical outlets. So it was nice to be acknowledged as a mother who kind of knows what she's doing. She's also the one who took notice of Jacobe's wheezing and didn't push it off like the Dr at his four month well baby did. We talked about his potential allergies and/or upper respiratory infections and/or asthma and/or acid reflux. She really seems to care enough to get to the bottom of it all and help make him better. She put him back on albuterol treatments via the nebulizer and we see her again on Monday. I think if this appointment goes well on Monday then I'll start asking to see her specifically.

There you have it. My boy is now 20 lbs and forcing me to make a decision on which car seat I'll buy for Jaycie (Jacobe will inherit her Marathon). I'm torn between the Britax Marathon or the Britax Frontier. The Frontier just seems way too grown up for Jaycie so I'm extremely hesitant to buy it, even if it will last her longer than the Marathon. Any thoughts? Josh calls me the "Car Seat Nazi". I didn't turn Jaycie around to forward-facing until two months after her second birthday. I'm a huge proponent of extended rear-facing and actually didn't want to turn Jaycie around until she turned three. And that's my recent conundrum. Anyway, here are some pictures of Jacobe dating back to his first taste of butternut squash.













Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Easter Road Trip

I decided that it was about time to go to Dallas for Josh's next four day weekend.
I was so appreciative of how understanding he was about going to Midland the other weekend (still need to blog about that). Also, since I was able to spend time with my sister I wanted him to be able to spend time with his family. So I asked him what his next four day was and then asked if it was a holiday. He said he didn't think it was and it didn't even register with me. I suggested we go ahead and go to Dallas that weekend. He was so happy, and I was happy that he was happy. What I didn't realize until later was that I had agreed to go during Easter weekend. I was crushed, but I couldn't tell my poor husband that I changed my mind. I had Easter all planned out for months. I had visions of her Easter basket...the best Easter basket ever! It would contain the biggest chocolate bunny I could find and cute little yellow Peeps. I was so excited about this basket and could just see the look on her face first thing in the morning when she saw it. Not to mention dying Easter eggs and of course the hunt for eggs that would happen before getting ready to go to church. Last year we has so much fun and I know she'd just have a blast this time around. I knew my plans wouldn't happen. Of course they didn't. We were so rushed the entire weekend and never had time to shop for her Easter basket before we left. By the time we did get to shop for her basket it was 10pm on Saturday...Walmart was cleaned out. It was as if there was an impending natural disaster and we got to Walmart after the stampede of people coming to hoard food and supplies, only in the Easter basket variety. I looked for plastic eggs since we didn't have time to dye any--no dice. All-in-all it was a good weekend though. We had a great time. I found myself making mental notes of the thoughts I wanted to blog about during that weekend. Here are the ones I managed to remember.

On the drive...
We finally left at 7pm on Thursday and Josh was so tired he kept falling asleep so I ended up driving 10 of the 12 hours it took us to get there. Two sleeping babies and a sleeping husband = a lot of flatulence. I was gagging for about 2 hour straight at one point. At least it kept me up. Thankfully, Josh was able to take most of the drive home so I could relax and pay him back. Oh, and I got a ticket. I couldn't even last one full year in the States without getting a ticket! It tainted my whole trip. Especially since I had saved us $180 this month by finding mistakes in different bills and now it's just a waste.

On the in-laws...
We had a great time with Josh's family. Jaycie is still asking for Granny, Granna, and David. Her little cousin, David, and her had a good time...although they had different ideas of what made a fun game. I had an especially good time visiting with Granny while Josh was fixing her computer. Seeing that Jaycie and Jacobe have such an extended family and so many grandparents and great grandparents and great great grandparents who love her so much touches my heart. I'm so glad they have something that I didn't while growing up.

On my friends & family...
We stayed one night at Josh's parents' house and the other 2 at my "brother" and "sister's" house. When I lived in Dallas I helped start a church plant with my brother's best friend, and of course my brother. There were a few of us who were there from the beginning and they became like family to me. The pastor of the church, Pastor Nelson Johnson (my brother's best friend) became like a brother to me and his wife a dear friend and sister. I like to stay with them while we visit because our schedules are so hectic that we can usually only visit during the late hours. Our kids call each other "cousin" and love each other to death. They're all older than Jaycie and she prefers to play with older children. Their daughter is a year older than Jaycie and they were BFF's right away. Jaycie has never played so well with someone so close to her age. It was so nice to be able to spend even just a little time with all the people who were such a huge part of my life for those 3 years. I miss them all.

On our next visit...
The next time we visit will be on our way up to KY when we leave the Army. I plan on making it a longer stay so that we can visit with everyone. I promised several people we'd dedicate time just for them while we were there and I do truly want to spend time with them. So I think I'll be making a schedule that isn't so easy to defer from--and I hate schedules! I'm thinking of a trip to the Fort Worth Zoo with Josh's immediate family, a special luncheon with Josh's Grandma and Granny, dinner with Donniel and Burnadette and their handsome boys (and David and his lovely wife, Joy, if they're free), a play date with LaTrease and Mary and their kids, Six Flags fun with Josh's Aunt Mel and David, a trip to Sulphur Springs to visit Josh's paternal side of the family (especially Kevin and Grandmother Tanton), and of course time for Jaycie to play with her "cousins" the Johnson's. I'm sure I'm leaving people out who I'll think of later. But that's a pretty busy visit so I'll have to make sure to have plenty of time to get it all done.

And now to the pictures... They're a little out of order

Family photo


Jaycie and cousin Audrey

Josh's paternal side of the family

Grandma and Jacobe

Cousin Sammy

Eating a Peep

Jaycie loving on Jacobe

Jaycie's BFF, Aubrianna

Sis. Burnadette with Jacobe (probably giving me lip about something, haha)

Jaycie tickling cousin David

Dancing with Grandma


She likes to sit in Jacobe's carseat

Josh with Jacobe, his sister Charla, Granny, and Granna

My dear friend, Sis. Aleisha Johnson

My brother, Pastor Nelson Johnson, husband of the gorgeous Aleisha.

Mother-In-Law, Anita (aka Granna), with Jacobe

Jaycie and David fighting over a toy

Josh and I goofing off

Thursday, April 9, 2009

I Shall Call You Bob!

A blog I love to follow, Kimchi Mamas pointed me to an article about a Texas Rep. who decided that Asians should adopt names that are "easier for Americans to deal with." She's serious too. The wise Betty Brown was quoted as saying “Rather than everyone here having to learn Chinese — I understand it’s a rather difficult language — do you think that it would behoove you and your citizens to adopt a name that we could deal with more readily here?” Wow. This hits especially close to home because growing up I had to endure many people calling my mom "Susan" because Soojin was just too hard to say. It's Soo-Jin, what's so hard about that? I'm American and I realize that I will mispronounce many names in my lifetime. My own is mispronounced all the time, my kids' names too and they're "American" names. So what IS an American name? Neveah is an all popular name and yet it took me a year before I finally realized how it's supposed to be pronounced. In a country where Nayeli ranks 377 on the most popular baby names list and celebrities name their kids such names as Tullulah, I think we can cut Asian-Americans a little slack.

Oh, and Brown spokesman Jordan Berry, you're absolutely right. This has nothing to do with race. We're just being asked to re-name ourselves for the convenience of the rest of the American people.

The Evolution of Speech

My daughter amazes me every day with something she says. It seems like just yesterday she was saying her first real sentence and now she uses them constantly. She doesn't quite have proper sentence structure down, but in the meantime it's quite entertaining to me. I love hearing her ask me, "Mommy help you, me?" which is translated into "Mommy, will you help me?" She's steadily getting better at this and quite frankly it makes me a little sad. I was once chided by a dear woman who said that I shouldn't be sad that my daughter is growing up because she's hitting the milestones she needs to and that's a true blessing from God. And that I should think about all those mothers out there whose children aren't hitting those milestones. Don't get me wrong, I'm delighted every time she learns something new or her words become clearer and sentences untangled. However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a twinge of sadness. I'm mourning the loss of my baby girl. Even she tells me she's not a baby girl anymore, she's a "big girl". Sorry, Kiddo, you'll always be my baby girl!

One of the things that I'm kicking myself for not recording is my daughter's over-enunciation phase. I admit this is probably my fault that she started doing this. You see, she wouldn't pronounce the last sound of most words. So a typical sentence would be "Mom-aye, I wa-wa-wan go owsigh." Now there are plenty of things about this sentence that cracks me up and that have since changed. I'll start with the evolution of enunciation. In order to get her to start enunciating the words better I over-exaggerated the last sound of each word.

Me: "No, Baby, it's I wanT-T-T to go outside-D-D-D. Say 'want.'"
Baby Girl: "Wan"
Me: "No, 'want-t-t.'"
Baby Girl: "Wan"

Eventually her sentence became "Mom-aye, I wa-wa-want-t-t go ow-side-d-d-d." Every word that ended in a strong consonant was said in this way. She would repeat the last sound at least three times. Husband and I would correct her.

Us: "No, Baby Girl, it's 'wanT' say 'wanT.'"
Her: "WanT-t-t-t."
Us: "No. No t-t-t...just want."
Her: "Want........t-t-t."

Notice the fake out. She acted like she couldn't help it...she just had to add those extra "ta's" at the end. More likely, she just wanted to drive us insane. Eventually she dropped the over-enunciation as well. In fact, I can't exactly tell you when. I just one day noticed and mentioned it to Husband who couldn't tell me when she stopped either. As for the "wa-wa-want" part of the sentence...I'm not exactly sure how that started. She would always start want with a couple "wa's" before it, like she firmly believed that revving the word up would convince us to do what she wa-wa-wanted. Mom-aye is the part I mourn the loss of the most. I would tell her it was "Mommy not Mom-aye" but it was to no avail. I was Mom-aye to my baby girl. Where did she even get Mom-aye from anyway? I have no idea, but it grew on me. Et tu Mom-aye? Sigh. Though, I still get a good "Mom-aye" when Baby Girl is sleepy or just feeling real cuddly or even insecure. When she addresses me by Mom-aye I tend to drop what I'm doing to tend to her.

And so now the sentence has fully evolved into, "Dammie, I want to go owside!" Sigh. When did I become Jammie instead of Mommy? She thinks it's great calling us by our names, especially when she can't seem to get our attention by calling us Mommy and Daddy. I've gained many names since Baby Girl started talking. I went from Mama to Mimi to Mom-aye to Mommy to Dammie. But now mainly I'm just "Mommy".

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Aunt Shevon & Cousin Havanna

My sister, Shevon, came down to visit me last week. We had a blast. Havanna is a complete doll! I love her! She's three weeks older than Jacobe and a skinny minny... I'm definately not used to skinny babies. She's too cute. She's got such an adorable personality as well. And what a diva she is! Watch out, Shevon, with a temper like Havanna's terrible twos are going to be rough. Haha! Just send her to me. Anyway, I had a wonderful time with my sister and niece. Jaycie adored both of them and called Havanna, "Sister". We went to the outlets (because we love to shop) and downtown El Paso (which was a lot like going to Mexico) and just hung out at home. Jaycie is still asking about Aunt Shevon and Sister. Well, here's the picture story!
















Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Mother's Rant...

I've always been sympathetic to mothers who seem to have their hands full. Although, before I had my own I tended to make assumptions just as most people do. There are times I still raise my eyebrows at some of the scenes I come across. Such as the child who screams at his mother that he wants to watch the newest animated film they have playing on all the TV's in the store. Then she gives in after saying no for the fifth time. However, I tend to try not to judge because I'm sure there are times when people raise their eyebrows at me. Actually, I know there are times, I've seen it.

I'd like to take a moment to speak for most moms out there. Sometimes we have our hands full. Sometimes we've reached our breaking point and we just can't fight anymore and so we give in when we know we shouldn't just to have a little peace. Sometimes our kids are just tired, hungry, sick, or cranky or all of the above and there's nothing we can do about it because we still need to get groceries or pick something up at the store. Sure it's easier to handle when you have just one kid. It gets harder to juggle as you add in more. And don't get me wrong, we love our kids, and don't assume we can't handle our kids. Sometimes there's just nothing that can be done at the moment.

My friend told me a story the other day that made me incredibly angry. The military hospital here is usually packed and overbooked. A trip to the pediatrics clinic usually means a good 2 hours of your time. This is because it takes 45 minutes to get a parking spot and get to the clinic. If you're late they'll turn you away no matter if it's just 10 minutes. I know, it's happened to me. Then you wait for triage. Then they put you in a room and you have to wait even longer. If your kids are sick then that usually means a prescription. The pharmacy in the hospital is worse than the DMV. Last time I went my number was 160...they were on 104. I waited there for nearly 2 hours. So, the whole process can take up to 4 hours and that's if your child doesn't need any blood work or other testing. So as my friend was sitting there waiting for her own number to be called there was a mother with 3 children ranging from 6 mos to about 4 years. The 4 year old was crying and whining the entire time. Finally, someone speaks up and says "You know, there are other people here. If you can't keep her quiet then you just need to leave." Of course other people chimed in as well, muttering to each other about the annoying child and how parents just can't handle their kids. The mother profusely apologized and explained that her daughter is sick and she just doesn't feel well. They keep arguing with her how she's disturbing everyone. She started desperately explaining that all her kids are sick and there's nothing she could do and she was trying and her husband is deployed and she just doesn't know what to do. You would think they'd be sympathetic then. No. They continued their rant. Loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear. She started to cry and apologize some more. What a sweet soul. One of the pharmacist came out and grabbed her ID and started to fill her prescription for her then sent her on her way. My friend had hers filled about the same time so as she left she drove around to find the poor mother. She found her sitting in her SUV with all the kids strapped in their carseats and crying. Her head was buried in her arms and she was crying. My heart broke when I heard that. I'm glad my friend went to look for her.

I wish I had been there in that pharmacy. I'm not usually one for confrontation. But let someone tell me I'm not doing my job as a mother and they'll find that I get over my aversion to confrontation. Let me see a poor mother get ganged up on and I'll speak my mind. If she was sitting there on her cell phone or reading a book while her kid was crying then I understand the annoyance, but she had been doing everything she could to comfort her little girl. Don't assume that being a mother is easy. Certainly don't assume that it's easy being a single mother while the husband is deployed. It's not. It's hard. Those ladies should be ashamed of themselves. They should have offered sympathy and instead they kicked a mother while she was down.

So, next time you see a child having a meltdown, give the mother a sympathetic smile as you pass. My own daughter is constipated, teething, and just cranky lately...she has meltdowns on a daily basis. *gasp* yes, even in public.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

My Daughter Is Bald



It happened on Friday. I cried. Hard. I came in on Friday to my husband looking for tights for my daughter to wear. I thought it was weird...why would he dress her up at 6:30 pm? I told him I'd help him look and he said to start in Jaycie's bedroom. So I did. I went in and saw it. Jaycie enthusiastically cried, "Look! Mommy! I got haircut!" Her head was shaved into a mohawk. SHAVED...MOHAWK! I think he underestimated my reaction. I immediately started to bawl. And when I say bawl I mean I fell to the bed, grabbed her into my arms and started snot faced crying. There was a lot of yelling "What did you do to my baby?" I was absolutely devastated. It took a year and a half for her hair to start growing...I mean, really growing. It was such gorgeous hair. Well, I finally calmed down enough for him to get a word in edgewise. It really didn't do much to ebb my anger though.

My dear husband keeps bubblegum in his backpack. Of course, like most toddlers, my daughter is in love with bubblegum. So when he went to get some she remembered where it was and went to get some for herself. She got a whole lot of it. She chewed and chewed until it got really gooey. Apparently this part is a little sketchy since he wasn't really watching her like he should be and really had no clue she had said gum. When he did pay attention she had it all mashed up into the side of her head. Instead of calling me to ask me what he should do he decided to fix it himself. He tried the whole oil route (he saw it on food network). However, just washing my daughter's hair includes a lot of screaming and fighting. And so he gave up. He decided the best option was to cut it out of her hair. The problem? It was stuck good nearly all the way to the scalp. At this point you would think he'd stop and think and give me a chance to get the gum out. But perhaps he was afraid I'd yell at him for allowing Jaycie to get the gum and then smash it so nicely in her hair. So he cut it. Then he noticed the big patch of missing hair on the side of her head and decided that that just wouldn't do. He had to make it better.

Have you ever cut hair? Maybe yours or your kid's or your husband's? I know when my own dear husband decided to save money by having me cut his hair he ended up with a shorter cut and higher fade every 2 weeks. Finally, he had to buzz cut it and I sent him to the barber from then on. Well, I suspect that's what happened in this case. Next thing he knows our daughter is sitting there with what he calls an "80's style punk rock mohawk". And that's why he was running around the house looking for her tights. He wanted her to look punk rock when Mommy came home and saw her. I think he convinced himself that he pulled it off. Poor guy. You should have seen his face when I broke down bawling that now people would call me "that white trash mom who cut her daughter's hair into a mohawk". He looked so bewildered. Men. After cooling down a tad I whisked her away to the mall where I planned on begging someone to fix her hair. I was ready to bribe any stylist $100 just to stay open and fix it. Everyone I had called were closing. Thank God that Mastercuts was still open and they took her without question. The stylist kept hugging me and ensuring me that it'd grow in great within a month. We decided it'd be best just to shave it all off so it can all grow in nicely. That's how my daughter became bald. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

I have to tell you what happened today though. Because the babies had been sick we have missed 2 weeks of church. I didn't want to take them especially since Jacobe had RSV. It's not something I wanted to chance another baby catching. So it was all the ingredients for a perfect mess when we showed up today. I had Jaycie dressed in a cute dress she had gotten from her Auntie Gina the night before (her doll had a matching dress on). She was also wearing a pretty little hat, jacket, and little purse that matched (I needed major shopping therapy yesterday). My baby girl walked in oozing with style. She greeted several of her favorite people and no one was the wiser. I was thinking that I really could pull this off. Until one of her little friends pulled her hat off during the song service causing the little girl's mother's heart to sink. She immediately thought that Jaycie was sick and that must be why we had missed church. I assured her that though she had been sick it was just croup and the hair was a result of a bubblegum incident and her father's negligence and not anything serious. We had a good laugh. Until my daughter decided to run down the center aisle yanking her hat off and laughing at the top of her lungs. She reached the front and nearly bounded up the steps until she saw the I-will-beat-that-little-butt look in my eye. Though she didn't think it was enough to stop her little rampage. She turned quickly to the right and ran giggling to the end and turned up the farthest aisle until she saw me half way down it ready to catch her. She turned on her heel and headed back across the front of the church and stopped as she saw me giving her a stern look telling her "get over here now" while I tried to be as discreet and least disturbing as possible. She squealed and ran back to the right as the Pastor got ready to dismiss for Children's Church commenting on Jaycie's enthusiasm. Finally a kind soul grabbed her for me and escorted her back to me. I'm sure half the church thinks she's sick and is praying for that "sweet little baby girl in church today".

I was told this a few times while grieving the past couple days and I know it to be true: I am glad that she is bald not because she's sick or has a tumor or for any similar reason other than the simple questionable judgment on her father's part. While shopping I saw a mother a little less than discreetly pull her child away from Jaycie. I can only guess that she was afraid her child would "catch" whatever she assumed my daughter had. I've noticed many questioning and sympathetic stares as well as downright rude looks. And I feel for the families of children who do have to endure chemotherapy. Every time I see someone staring at Jaycie I pray that God will give strength to a mother whose child is truly sick.

Oh, and please, I know you all mean well. But stop telling me it'll grow back within a month. I know it won't. And in a month I fully realize that my daughter will have about an inch of fuzz all over her head nicely resembling a chia head. It's not comforting. Maybe soon it'll be humorous, but that day is not today. Not yet. Ask me again when her hair is past the chia head stage. Just do what most are and comment on how pretty her eyes are. And for good measure mention that she looks just like me or that her head is perfectly shaped. That always makes me feel better.