Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Aunt Shevon & Cousin Havanna

My sister, Shevon, came down to visit me last week. We had a blast. Havanna is a complete doll! I love her! She's three weeks older than Jacobe and a skinny minny... I'm definately not used to skinny babies. She's too cute. She's got such an adorable personality as well. And what a diva she is! Watch out, Shevon, with a temper like Havanna's terrible twos are going to be rough. Haha! Just send her to me. Anyway, I had a wonderful time with my sister and niece. Jaycie adored both of them and called Havanna, "Sister". We went to the outlets (because we love to shop) and downtown El Paso (which was a lot like going to Mexico) and just hung out at home. Jaycie is still asking about Aunt Shevon and Sister. Well, here's the picture story!
















Tuesday, March 17, 2009

A Mother's Rant...

I've always been sympathetic to mothers who seem to have their hands full. Although, before I had my own I tended to make assumptions just as most people do. There are times I still raise my eyebrows at some of the scenes I come across. Such as the child who screams at his mother that he wants to watch the newest animated film they have playing on all the TV's in the store. Then she gives in after saying no for the fifth time. However, I tend to try not to judge because I'm sure there are times when people raise their eyebrows at me. Actually, I know there are times, I've seen it.

I'd like to take a moment to speak for most moms out there. Sometimes we have our hands full. Sometimes we've reached our breaking point and we just can't fight anymore and so we give in when we know we shouldn't just to have a little peace. Sometimes our kids are just tired, hungry, sick, or cranky or all of the above and there's nothing we can do about it because we still need to get groceries or pick something up at the store. Sure it's easier to handle when you have just one kid. It gets harder to juggle as you add in more. And don't get me wrong, we love our kids, and don't assume we can't handle our kids. Sometimes there's just nothing that can be done at the moment.

My friend told me a story the other day that made me incredibly angry. The military hospital here is usually packed and overbooked. A trip to the pediatrics clinic usually means a good 2 hours of your time. This is because it takes 45 minutes to get a parking spot and get to the clinic. If you're late they'll turn you away no matter if it's just 10 minutes. I know, it's happened to me. Then you wait for triage. Then they put you in a room and you have to wait even longer. If your kids are sick then that usually means a prescription. The pharmacy in the hospital is worse than the DMV. Last time I went my number was 160...they were on 104. I waited there for nearly 2 hours. So, the whole process can take up to 4 hours and that's if your child doesn't need any blood work or other testing. So as my friend was sitting there waiting for her own number to be called there was a mother with 3 children ranging from 6 mos to about 4 years. The 4 year old was crying and whining the entire time. Finally, someone speaks up and says "You know, there are other people here. If you can't keep her quiet then you just need to leave." Of course other people chimed in as well, muttering to each other about the annoying child and how parents just can't handle their kids. The mother profusely apologized and explained that her daughter is sick and she just doesn't feel well. They keep arguing with her how she's disturbing everyone. She started desperately explaining that all her kids are sick and there's nothing she could do and she was trying and her husband is deployed and she just doesn't know what to do. You would think they'd be sympathetic then. No. They continued their rant. Loud enough for the entire waiting room to hear. She started to cry and apologize some more. What a sweet soul. One of the pharmacist came out and grabbed her ID and started to fill her prescription for her then sent her on her way. My friend had hers filled about the same time so as she left she drove around to find the poor mother. She found her sitting in her SUV with all the kids strapped in their carseats and crying. Her head was buried in her arms and she was crying. My heart broke when I heard that. I'm glad my friend went to look for her.

I wish I had been there in that pharmacy. I'm not usually one for confrontation. But let someone tell me I'm not doing my job as a mother and they'll find that I get over my aversion to confrontation. Let me see a poor mother get ganged up on and I'll speak my mind. If she was sitting there on her cell phone or reading a book while her kid was crying then I understand the annoyance, but she had been doing everything she could to comfort her little girl. Don't assume that being a mother is easy. Certainly don't assume that it's easy being a single mother while the husband is deployed. It's not. It's hard. Those ladies should be ashamed of themselves. They should have offered sympathy and instead they kicked a mother while she was down.

So, next time you see a child having a meltdown, give the mother a sympathetic smile as you pass. My own daughter is constipated, teething, and just cranky lately...she has meltdowns on a daily basis. *gasp* yes, even in public.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

My Daughter Is Bald



It happened on Friday. I cried. Hard. I came in on Friday to my husband looking for tights for my daughter to wear. I thought it was weird...why would he dress her up at 6:30 pm? I told him I'd help him look and he said to start in Jaycie's bedroom. So I did. I went in and saw it. Jaycie enthusiastically cried, "Look! Mommy! I got haircut!" Her head was shaved into a mohawk. SHAVED...MOHAWK! I think he underestimated my reaction. I immediately started to bawl. And when I say bawl I mean I fell to the bed, grabbed her into my arms and started snot faced crying. There was a lot of yelling "What did you do to my baby?" I was absolutely devastated. It took a year and a half for her hair to start growing...I mean, really growing. It was such gorgeous hair. Well, I finally calmed down enough for him to get a word in edgewise. It really didn't do much to ebb my anger though.

My dear husband keeps bubblegum in his backpack. Of course, like most toddlers, my daughter is in love with bubblegum. So when he went to get some she remembered where it was and went to get some for herself. She got a whole lot of it. She chewed and chewed until it got really gooey. Apparently this part is a little sketchy since he wasn't really watching her like he should be and really had no clue she had said gum. When he did pay attention she had it all mashed up into the side of her head. Instead of calling me to ask me what he should do he decided to fix it himself. He tried the whole oil route (he saw it on food network). However, just washing my daughter's hair includes a lot of screaming and fighting. And so he gave up. He decided the best option was to cut it out of her hair. The problem? It was stuck good nearly all the way to the scalp. At this point you would think he'd stop and think and give me a chance to get the gum out. But perhaps he was afraid I'd yell at him for allowing Jaycie to get the gum and then smash it so nicely in her hair. So he cut it. Then he noticed the big patch of missing hair on the side of her head and decided that that just wouldn't do. He had to make it better.

Have you ever cut hair? Maybe yours or your kid's or your husband's? I know when my own dear husband decided to save money by having me cut his hair he ended up with a shorter cut and higher fade every 2 weeks. Finally, he had to buzz cut it and I sent him to the barber from then on. Well, I suspect that's what happened in this case. Next thing he knows our daughter is sitting there with what he calls an "80's style punk rock mohawk". And that's why he was running around the house looking for her tights. He wanted her to look punk rock when Mommy came home and saw her. I think he convinced himself that he pulled it off. Poor guy. You should have seen his face when I broke down bawling that now people would call me "that white trash mom who cut her daughter's hair into a mohawk". He looked so bewildered. Men. After cooling down a tad I whisked her away to the mall where I planned on begging someone to fix her hair. I was ready to bribe any stylist $100 just to stay open and fix it. Everyone I had called were closing. Thank God that Mastercuts was still open and they took her without question. The stylist kept hugging me and ensuring me that it'd grow in great within a month. We decided it'd be best just to shave it all off so it can all grow in nicely. That's how my daughter became bald. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

I have to tell you what happened today though. Because the babies had been sick we have missed 2 weeks of church. I didn't want to take them especially since Jacobe had RSV. It's not something I wanted to chance another baby catching. So it was all the ingredients for a perfect mess when we showed up today. I had Jaycie dressed in a cute dress she had gotten from her Auntie Gina the night before (her doll had a matching dress on). She was also wearing a pretty little hat, jacket, and little purse that matched (I needed major shopping therapy yesterday). My baby girl walked in oozing with style. She greeted several of her favorite people and no one was the wiser. I was thinking that I really could pull this off. Until one of her little friends pulled her hat off during the song service causing the little girl's mother's heart to sink. She immediately thought that Jaycie was sick and that must be why we had missed church. I assured her that though she had been sick it was just croup and the hair was a result of a bubblegum incident and her father's negligence and not anything serious. We had a good laugh. Until my daughter decided to run down the center aisle yanking her hat off and laughing at the top of her lungs. She reached the front and nearly bounded up the steps until she saw the I-will-beat-that-little-butt look in my eye. Though she didn't think it was enough to stop her little rampage. She turned quickly to the right and ran giggling to the end and turned up the farthest aisle until she saw me half way down it ready to catch her. She turned on her heel and headed back across the front of the church and stopped as she saw me giving her a stern look telling her "get over here now" while I tried to be as discreet and least disturbing as possible. She squealed and ran back to the right as the Pastor got ready to dismiss for Children's Church commenting on Jaycie's enthusiasm. Finally a kind soul grabbed her for me and escorted her back to me. I'm sure half the church thinks she's sick and is praying for that "sweet little baby girl in church today".

I was told this a few times while grieving the past couple days and I know it to be true: I am glad that she is bald not because she's sick or has a tumor or for any similar reason other than the simple questionable judgment on her father's part. While shopping I saw a mother a little less than discreetly pull her child away from Jaycie. I can only guess that she was afraid her child would "catch" whatever she assumed my daughter had. I've noticed many questioning and sympathetic stares as well as downright rude looks. And I feel for the families of children who do have to endure chemotherapy. Every time I see someone staring at Jaycie I pray that God will give strength to a mother whose child is truly sick.

Oh, and please, I know you all mean well. But stop telling me it'll grow back within a month. I know it won't. And in a month I fully realize that my daughter will have about an inch of fuzz all over her head nicely resembling a chia head. It's not comforting. Maybe soon it'll be humorous, but that day is not today. Not yet. Ask me again when her hair is past the chia head stage. Just do what most are and comment on how pretty her eyes are. And for good measure mention that she looks just like me or that her head is perfectly shaped. That always makes me feel better.







Thursday, March 12, 2009

What The Kids Are Doing Now...

I wanted to update on what shenanigans the kids are up to lately. I tend to forget about poor Jacobe since Jaycie takes up a lot of my energy, haha. So I'll start with him. He's still gaining weight. He's 19 lbs now. No weight loss while sick for him. He's getting so active and loves jumping in his jumperoo. He thinks his sister is hilarious. He also loves pulling her hair. Sometimes he acts like he wants to crawl, but he's really not much of a tummy time baby. He hates tummy time. He likes "mommy hold me" time much better. The Chunk's very interactive and playful now. He's always cracking me up.

Jaycie is something else. One minute I'm wishing I could lock her in her room and the next she's cracking me up by wiggling her eyebrows and asking me if I feel better now. A common conversation goes like this:

Me: Jaycie Bree! Do NOT touch that!
Jaycie: Mad at me, you, Mommy?
Me: No, I'm not mad at you, I just want you to start listening to me.
Jaycie: (as she wiggles her eyebrows) Feel better now, Mommy? Feel better?

Then she goes right back to doing what she got in trouble for. Sigh, this girl. I've also been concerned about the amount of TV she watches. I think I mentioned before that she loves acting out her favorite TV shows. Right now she's telling our dog "Swiper no swiping!" I've the habit of leaving the TV on for background noise. I've always done it, stemming from my bachelorette days. Usually she goes between playing and watching her favorites. But lately I try to shut it off, especially when Spongebob comes on. She loves Spongebob but it's definitely not one that I really want her watching. If I turn the TV off she brings me the remote, "He-ya, Mommy, weemote. Turn on TB, Mommy! I wan watch Kai-Lan." So I've decided that if she wants to watch TV she has to work for it. Today, I asked her to count. First in English, then in Chinese. I said, "Count in Chinese now." And she asked "like Kai-Lan?" and then counted to 3 in Chinese with perfect tone and inflections. Then I told her to count in Spanish, she asked if I meant like Dora then counted to 10 in Spanish. Then I asked her to count in Korean and much to my pride she counted perfectly to 5 in Korean without hesitation. Now that I had reaffirmed that yes I am teaching my daughter something regardless of her watching TV, I turned it on. Just my luck, too, Spongebob is on. Honestly, I do like Spongebob. I think it's funny, but not for my 2 year old who LOVES to mimic.

She also loves to sing songs. She knows the hand motions to Itsy Bitsy Spider and to Jesus Loves Me. The latter melts my heart. I'm going to post a video of her one of these days. The other day when we went to Walmart she was amazed at all the aisles of Easter stuff. She ran back and forth gasping and holding her hand to her mouth oh so dramatically while yelling "Oh my goodness!" and "Holy crap!" Yeah, yeah, I know. But it's just so darn cute when she says it! I'm telling you, I know I'm biased and all, but my daughter is AWESOME! She uses the word "awesome"! And lately she's been saying "Ah, that's sweeet!" How cool is that? She's been asking me for a skateboard too. Josh likes to watch that show on MTV, Scarred. Jaycie will watch it with us and when the poor fool falls she yells out "Oooooh, crap!" Not the crowning glory of our parenting influence, but I still say it's cool. Oh, and if you've watched that show and you're wondering...no, we did not get Jacobe's name from that show. We had picked Jacobe before ever watching it. Though it did make me mad, I wonder how many Jacoby's will pop up now. You try and try to pick a name that's unique and cool and dozens of them pop up once you name your kid. Anyway, I digress. This post is probably not put together very well. I blame it on this head cold. Until next time!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

When Mama's Sick...

Ever notice that when someone in the house gets sick it's Mama's job to nurse them back to health, but when Mama's sick she has to keep on truckin'? This last week or so has been an insane week for me. Jacobe came down with RSV and I had to take him to the ER because he was wheezing so badly. 7 hours later they sent me home and told me to irrigate his nose with saline solution and use a humidifier. Umm...that's what I HAD been doing. They did get me an appt with the pedi clinic though (which is nearly impossible to do). When I took him into his appt they sounded pretty surprised that he didn't get a breathing treatment at the ER. They gave him a breathing treatment and sent me home with a nebulizer. Then Jaycie got sick. We had to take her to urgent care. She has croup. They sent her home with antibiotics, steroids, and something for her cough.

Meanwhile, Maw has been very sick. Maw is the daughter of our good friends in Germany. She's staying with us while she goes to college here. "Maw" is what Jaycie has called her since she moved in in August. So I took her to the ER and she got seen right away. She had a bad case of Strep. They didn't even test her. It was pretty bad. She has a major adversion to needles. So when they told her they recommended getting a steroid shot she freaked out. Poor girl, I felt so bad. She tried to refuse but I made her get it. They said it'd make her throat feel better right away. Then they dropped the bomb...it had to be in her hip! Poor girl nearly passed out. They gave her the shot and sent her home with antibiotics. The next day her friend who's a boy but not her boyfriend and happens to be at the house almost daily comes over. On my way to bed I hit him in the chest and said "Good night, no making out on my couch." He acted like I hit him really hard and said he has heart problems. I laughed and went to bed. about a half hour later Maw comes to our door and tells us that B's having major chest pain and she doesn't know what to do. We get dressed and go out there. He's curled up in a fetal position and holding his chest. He says it hurts to breath or even move. Josh called 911 and they sent in the MP's and an ambulance. I couldn't help but notice the many boots on my new rug. I've a strict "No Shoe" rule on my new rug. *Sigh* all those germs. I know, I know...what a thing to think of when the poor boy is in so much pain he doesn't care that snot is hanging out of his nose. To my defense, I was pretty sure he was just having a major panic attack. He's had them before. And I've had them so bad that I've wanted to call 911. I recognized the signs. But...to be safe, yanno? I have to say that boy freaked me out at first. I thought I had caused a heart attack or something when I hit him. I frantically asked him if he was serious about having a heart problem. Through painful breaths he admitted he was joking. Thank God! So I just tried to calm him down and get him to breath slow deep breaths and prayed with him. EMT's came and whisked him off to the ER where his dad met him. The kid's under a lot of stress lately. Poor guy, I wish there was something more I can do for him. Of course he was fine. Josh picked them up from the ER in the morning.

Then I got sick. I hate being sick. My sinuses are clogged, my throat is itchy, my eyes watery, I'm all light-headed. I'm just miserable. Did I mention I hate being sick? Good news is everyone else is on the mend. Josh is trying to take care of me. But he works. And really, most men aren't the best at nursing someone back to health. I wish I could crawl back into bed right now. However, I am a mom. We're a mighty tough breed. Right? Haha, that's what I'll keep telling myself.